Who Is Your Type?
The aim of this tool is to encourage you to think outside the box so you become more aware of your patterns (both positive and negative) and more open to possibilities. You may find yourself attracted to specific traits—such as a certain hair color, job, physique, or hobby—and, without realizing it, you repeatedly find yourself drawn to these traits. However, if your type is too specific, you might be setting yourself up to encounter the same relationship issues repeatedly.
Example: You may pursue partners with high-powered jobs but become frustrated with the long hours they work.
Do It Yourself
Sometimes we are drawn to a type because it compensates for something we lack—e.g., are you attracted to a muscular person to feel more feminine, or to someone who seems less intelligent to make yourself feel smarter? Your preferences might not be as simple or obvious as they seem. This exercise aims to spark introspection.
Your partner cannot make you feel complete or address your insecurities; you need to address these feelings on your own first. Your type often reflects an area where you might not be fully healthy or whole.
Question: Are you choosing a partner based on something you are trying to compensate for or feel insecure about?
Tip: Working with a therapist to address feelings of inadequacy could be key to unlocking long-term changes in your patterns and ultimately improving your success in dating.
If you limit yourself to one type of person, you are significantly narrowing your dating pool. Consider how you might challenge yourself to step outside of your usual type. Challenges to your type are not necessarily a bad thing!
Exercise: Complete the downloadable, printable worksheet at the bottom of this tool.
- Did this worksheet encourage you to think about what could be possible?
- If qualities of your type are filling voids in your life, what can you do to find fulfillment in those areas?
- Was there anything that you were willing to let go of?
- Do you recognize any patterns from past relationships?
