I don’t know about you, but there is something about the constant barrage of summer vacation pictures on Instagram that can really, kick emotions of jealousy and FOMO into overdrive. Did everyone go to Italy this summer??
"Enough is a feast." - Buddist Proverb
I find myself saying this throughout summer when people's vacation plans ramp up. Why? Because I am human, and comparison and want are part of the human experience.
I don’t need to shame myself for feeling this way. But let’s face it, feeling this way is a 0/10 for me, and I have to remind myself that…
I have enough. I actually have more than enough. But sometimes I have to practice contentment to realize that I am already sitting at the feast.
This worksheet explores and challenges you to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to feel and be content. Contentment is a special type of happiness that is tried, tested, and rooted deep within you. It is something that can weather changes and support you during hard times. Feeling content can actually help you with decision-making, judgment, and your overall outlook on life. So, how do you strengthen this foundational state of being? Practice. Good news: This tool and audiocast will help you!
Happiness vs. Contentment
What’s the difference between happiness and contentment? Truth be told, there’s actually no real consensus in the research when it comes to defining happiness. People have used the word ‘happy’ to describe a whole array of emotions, almost using it as a blanket term for anything that makes them feel good. But for the purpose of this worksheet let’s go with this definition from Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart: “The state of happiness as feeling pleasure, often related to the immediate environment or current circumstances.”
In this definition, happiness comes from outside of us. It is a hit of dopamine that comes from getting what we want. For example:
- Getting a lot of likes on an Instagram post
- Buying some new clothes
- Getting attention from others
Don’t get us wrong– we think there is a time and a place for happiness. But if you are feeling perpetually restless, remember that happiness is fleeting by nature.. All things change. Therefore, the new car will become old, the promotion at work will become routine, the new piece of clothing will go out of style. Additionally, things that bring us happiness in the moment, might bring about other emotions later. Now, let’s look at contentment. “Contentment is the feeling of completeness, appreciation, and “enoughness” that we experience when our needs are satisfied”
Feeling content can seem like not enough in a world where everyone’s social profile is showing the best of them at all times. Contentment is not a high-arousal emotion. It’s not showy or sexy. It says: ‘I have everything I need and I am ok, regardless of my external circumstances.’
This is the feeling that you get when, for example:
- Recognizing the happiness of a loved one
- When fully immersed in an activity that you cherish
- When you are simply being present with yourself in time
Practicing contentment can improve your life satisfaction, well-being, and can even positively influence your physical health. Brene Brown poses this important question:
“If we’re not satisfied with our life as a whole, does this mean we need to go get and do the stuff that will make us satisfied so we can be content, or does this mean we stop taking for granted what we have so we can experience real contentment and enoughness?”
“Practice” is the key. I promise you there will always be something else to buy, something to do or accomplish, or some other fast-food method to happiness. Many of us make the mistake of saying “I’ll be happy when…” or “Once this happens, then I’ll be happy.” Yet if we’re relying on external circumstances to be just so before we allow ourselves the experience of happiness, then we’ll constantly be in a state of chasing. There will always be that one more thing to get or do before we are satisfied.
Instead, we can observe our relationship with contentment, which operates independent of external circumstances. Contentment comes from the inside, regardless of external circumstances, is lasting and satisfying. The following action items can help you to step out of the race and stop to enjoy the view.
Chasing Happiness
Start with observing. Ask yourself: What am I chasing right now? (or) What am I waiting on to be happy?
Then, pause for a moment to do nothing but tune into five deep and steady breaths. This will help you to get into the present moment. Take another look at your list. Take notice of what you are chasing. Is it influenced by external circumstances, pressures, or trends? By wanting or chasing these things, am I postponing happiness?
Practicing contentment
Pause for another steadying five breaths. Notice five things in your environment.
What makes me feel connected to myself, regardless of any external influences?
What do I appreciate in my life?
This week I will live in the moment by…
When I am feeling the pull of wanting something to make me feel “happy” I will return to…
