You send a message to a friend and don’t get a response. If you’re relying solely on automatic thinking, you might assume they’re ignoring you or that you’ve somehow upset them. Your mood drops, and you might even withdraw from future interactions.
This is an example of how automatic thoughts can hijack your mood and behavior.
In Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), this connection between thoughts, feelings, and actions is fundamental. The way we think about a situation shapes how we feel about it—and ultimately, how we respond. The good news? When we become aware of unhelpful thought patterns, we can challenge them and change our emotional and behavioral reactions.
But what if you took a step back and used a Thought Record—a CBT tool designed to capture and evaluate unhelpful thoughts? Instead of jumping to conclusions, you’d slow down and ask yourself: What actually happened? What did I tell myself about it? Is there another way to interpret this?
You might realize that your friend could simply be busy or forgot to reply. With this broader perspective, your emotional response softens, and you’re less likely to spiral into self-blame or anxiety.