Engage in open and respectful dialogue with the other person to find mutually acceptable solutions to the conflict. Here are some steps to follow when approaching resolution:
- Breathe, Ground Yourself: Engage in 5-10 deep, counted breaths, explore your five senses, change your environment, or use any grounding technique. Beginning the resolution process from a grounded place helps ensure that your emotions or fight-or-flight response don't dominate the conversation. When you're in a fight-or-flight state, the remaining steps become difficult to follow.
- Active Listening: Listen attentively to the other person's perspective without interrupting or judging, including avoiding silent mental interruptions. Focus entirely on what they are saying instead of thinking about your response. Validate their feelings and experiences to show genuine understanding and empathy.
- Express Empathy: Show empathy and understanding towards the other person's emotions. Acknowledge their perspective even if you disagree. Expressing empathy shows that you are capable of understanding where they are coming from. Empathy requires an element of understanding your involvement in the situation or disagreement.
- Collaborate: Work together to brainstorm possible solutions and compromises. Aim to find outcomes that address both parties' needs. Keep in mind that it may not be possible to meet all needs with a single solution, and compromising is a key part of conflict resolution. Trust is rebuilt gradually, so consider small steps that can help move the relationship forward.
Here are some example scripts:
"I understand that you were also frustrated by the situation. How do you think we can prevent similar misunderstandings in the future?"
“I see things differently, but I want to find where we have some common ground. Would you be open to that?”
“It's clear we have different views on this, and that's okay. Let's talk through our differences and find common ground.”
“I know we might not get everything we want, but I'm willing to make some compromises. What are some things you are willing to compromise on?”
“Let's find a middle ground. What aspects are most important to you, and what can you be flexible on?”
Practice: I hear that you are feeling ___(emotion)____ and I appreciate you sharing that with me. I understand my part in making you feel ______________. Let’s see how we can address this together.
