As humans, we naturally seek approval. Historically, fitting into the “in group” meant safety. Today, though we no longer need these labels for safety, the tendency to please others can still impact us. If you feel stuck or on autopilot, it’s a chance to explore and define your true self. Here’s how to start living more authentically:
Step 1: Ground Yourself in the Present
To understand your wants and needs, you need to focus on the present. It may feel forced at first, but with practice, it will become easier.
Exercises to Help You Drop In:
- Tune Into Your Senses: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
- Morning Check-In: Ask yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” and “What do I need today?”
- Notice What You Like: Pay attention to small things that bring you joy during your day, like a beautiful view or a favorite song.
Step 2: Investigate Yourself
Dig deeper by asking important questions. Answer them with your gut feeling, even if you’re unsure. Your answers may evolve, and that’s part of the process.
Questions to Journal:
- What felt good to me today?
- What do I enjoy? (Think back to your childhood interests.)
- Who am I?
- What does freedom mean to me today?
- What am I most proud of today?
Look for patterns or themes in your answers. What are you curious about now? How will you explore that curiosity?
For futher exploration in this area, use this tool to Discover Your Core Values, which are crucial to authentic living!
Step 3: Balance Feeling and Thinking
We often rely too much on thinking and not enough on feeling. To make aligned decisions, use mindfulness to balance both.
Mindfulness Exercise:
- Small Decision Practice: Close your eyes and visualize a small decision you need to make. For each option, notice any physical sensations and listen to your heart and mind. Which option feels right? Practice this with small decisions and gradually apply it to bigger ones.
Step 4: Practice and Take Action
By tuning into your feelings, desires, and joy, you’ll start making decisions that align with your true self rather than external expectations.
Next Steps:
- Start Small: Begin with small actions and build your way up.
- Practice Regularly: Continuously tune into your feelings and needs.
- Take the Next Best Step: Follow through with actions that lead you towards joy and authenticity.
By integrating these steps into your life, you can move from pleasing others to living in alignment with your true self. Enjoy the journey!