Daily life comes with a lot of pressure. When you are constantly being pulled one way or another, giving your time, attention, and energy to everyone else, you are opening yourself up to feelings of disconnect, resentment, or disappointment in yourself or others. This desire to show up for others comes from an honest and good place, but sometimes it can grow into expectations that you just can’t meet. When this happens, it is common to feel overwhelmed, frazzled, and detached from the present moment.
The goal of this worksheet is to learn how to let go of unrealistic expectations for yourself and move into a place of presence driven by compassion, openness and peace.
Presence
Presence is a non-judgmental awareness in a moment that is kind, open, and all-embracing. Those who inhabit this present state frequently report a sense of experiencing life “as it really is” and without the pressure of real or imagined expectations.
It is really easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day, so to get started, think about the last time you felt really present in a moment.
- What were you doing (or not doing)?
- What helped you to be present?
Think: Was it lack of stress, release of expectations or control, support from others?
Now contrast that-- Take the next few moments to be honest about how you usually feel on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis:
- What pressures or expectations do you feel?
- What keeps you from being present?
- In which areas do you feel you need more support?
- What would you like more time for?
Integrate Through Practice
Using the information that you've gathered through these contrasting reflections, complete the following guide on how to be more present moving forward. We recommend using this Being Present Meditation to enhance your experience and learning.
- Think of one thing you would like to be more present for.
- Close your eyes and start to take some deep, slow breaths -- slow inhale and an even slower exhale.
- Visualize yourself in the experience, but see yourself being present while doing it. See yourself at ease and smiling.
- Think about how you feel-- What was released? What allowed you to feel at ease and present? Did you honor a boundary or give yourself or a loved one more compassion? Did you let go of something else to create more time for this activity that you look forward to? How did you get here?
- Open your eyes and write down what helped you get to that place.
Leaning into the Present
With practice, you can start to recognize when you are operating from a place of high expectations and pressures. The following tools can help:
- Mindfulness practices to ground yourself in the present.
- Compassionate self-talk.
- Recognize whether you are operating from a place of fear, expectations, or future worries.
- Examine your mindset:
- Are you trying to meet the expectations of everyone around you?
- Are you trying to meet the expectations of a certain individual?
- Recognize situations as opportunities for learning and growth in personal development.
- What is my relationship with control?
- What do I gain by letting go?
- What are some gifts of being present?
- What do you gain by letting go?
- What is one small detail you love about your life right now?
- What is your intention for this next season?