This holiday season, instead of striving for a picture-perfect tablescape, a chef-inspired turkey, or the ideal of a drama-free family gathering, consider embracing an idea that’s already central to the holiday — gratitude. If you’ve already rolled your eyes, give us a moment to explain why focusing on gratitude might make your holiday season more enjoyable.
"With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power." – Harvard Health Publishing
The reason this pursuit is so worthwhile is that your experience of gratitude is fully within your control. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, savor good experiences, improve their health, cope with adversity, and build strong relationships. Let’s walk through a few scenarios where you could practice choosing what to focus on:
Scenario: You’re dreading the inevitable political debate at the dinner table.
Truth is, debates at the dinner table can be uncomfortable and often best avoided. But you can focus on the parts of your family that you do enjoy: maybe it’s a game of backyard football with cousins, sharing exciting news, or simply relaxing while someone else cooks. Choose to look forward to the moments or people that lift you up, and notice what that shift does for your outlook.
- What positive qualities or moments with family are you most looking forward to this holiday?
- If you’re anticipating a challenging situation, what aspects of your family gathering could you appreciate or enjoy?
- How might choosing to focus on enjoyable activities or people at the gathering change your experience?
Scenario: The holiday budget is tighter than usual, and you’re stressed about gifts.
Instead of focusing on limits, try a gratitude-based approach. Think about creative ways to show love and appreciation, like making a heartfelt gift or planning a cozy, free activity with loved ones. The holidays don’t need to be extravagant to feel meaningful; often, the smallest gestures create the most cherished memories.
- What non-material ways could you show your appreciation for loved ones?
- How might a smaller holiday budget inspire you to create more meaningful or personal gifts?
- Can you remember a time when a heartfelt, simple gesture had a big impact on you or someone else?
Scenario: Hosting duties are feeling overwhelming, and you’re worried about everything going smoothly.
Pause to practice gratitude for the opportunity to bring people together. Focus on what you enjoy most about hosting, like setting up cozy spaces, cooking favorite dishes, or simply seeing loved ones gathered around. By shifting from pressure to appreciation, you can ease the stress and even feel excited to welcome your guests. Remember, you don’t have to do everything perfectly. Pick one or two things you love about hosting and focus on those. In the long run, the little details won’t matter as much as the joy of togetherness.
- What are the aspects of hosting that you genuinely enjoy or feel grateful for?
- Which holiday traditions or activities are most meaningful to you, and why?
- How might narrowing your focus to a few key elements bring more enjoyment and less stress to hosting?
Scenario: You’re spending the holidays away from family and feeling a bit lonely.
If you’re away from loved ones, try creating a new tradition or finding small ways to connect from afar. Gratitude might mean appreciating friends or community around you, volunteering locally, or connecting virtually. Reflect on past holiday memories that bring warmth and joy, reminding yourself that gratitude can bridge distances and make you feel connected.
- If you’re missing loved ones, what new traditions could you create to feel a sense of connection or belonging?
- What other relationships or communities are you grateful for, and how might you connect with them during this time?
- How might reflecting on past holiday memories help you find warmth and gratitude in the present?
Scenario: Holiday travel has you frazzled with delays and crowds.
Gratitude can help you reframe these frustrations by focusing on the end goal: time with people you care about. Appreciate the small comforts, like a warm coffee or a good book. Or maybe, indulge in some entertaining people-watching. Choosing what to focus on in these moments can make the journey feel less burdensome and more purposeful.
- What positive aspects of travel—big or small—might you enjoy or feel grateful for?
- How can you remind yourself of the purpose behind your travel when it gets stressful?
- Are there any travel routines or practices you could adopt to make the journey feel more enjoyable or intentional?
In the end, gratitude isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges or seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. It’s about choosing what you want to notice and absorb. By recognizing both the good and the difficult moments, you give yourself the power to decide where to place your focus. A gratitude practice helps you acknowledge reality in its fullness, then intentionally dwell on the aspects that bring you joy, connection, or peace. This holiday season, remember that what you choose to notice is within your control—an approach that can bring greater depth and meaning to your experiences, no matter what the season brings.
- What small things or people in your life bring you happiness that you might not always recognize?
- How could you focus on gratitude in your daily life, even outside of the holiday season?
- Reflect on a time when gratitude shifted your perspective. How did it impact your experience?