Becoming a mom can be a beautiful experience filled with newness, bonding, and awe at the little being your body has produced. Yet, at the same time, this season can also bring unexpected loneliness and difficulty, both physically and mentally.
Up to 85% of women experience mood fluctuations shortly after giving birth, which can include increased tearfulness, anxiety, or irritability.
This means that most women who have had a baby have shared this feeling of overwhelm. For some, these symptoms go away on their own after a few weeks. However, others may not experience relief, and instead, those symptoms may persist.
What’s important to understand is that you are not alone.
The Basics:
- Psychiatric disorders are considered perinatal when someone experiences symptoms (even pre-existing symptoms) during pregnancy or up to a year after delivery.
- Several mental health disorders can develop or worsen in the perinatal period, including depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder, or psychosis.
We’ll do a deeper dive into perinatal depression and anxiety here due to their prevalence, but if you suspect any of the other disorders listed above in yourself or someone else, please seek professional support.
Perinatal Depression
What Is Perinatal Depression?
Perinatal depression is a mood disorder that occurs during pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth. It involves persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or emotional numbness that last for two weeks or more and interfere with daily life.
This condition is different from the "Baby Blues", which refers to mild mood swings, irritability, and emotional sensitivity that many new parents experience in the first two weeks after delivery. The Baby Blues are temporary and typically resolve on their own. In contrast, perinatal depression is more intense, lasts longer, and requires support or treatment.
Perinatal depression is common, affecting about 1 in 7 mothers, but it is often underdiagnosed because many women feel pressure to appear happy and adjusted after having a baby.
How Do I Know If I Have Perinatal Depression?
If you suspect you may be experiencing perinatal depression, reach out to your OBGYN, therapist, or psychiatrist for a screening. The sooner you seek support, the sooner you can start feeling better.
Here are common signs and symptoms:
- Frequent tearfulness – Crying often, even without an obvious reason.
- Irritability or anger – Feeling easily frustrated, overwhelmed, or snapping at loved ones.
- Hopelessness – A sense that things will never improve or that you’re failing as a parent.
- Lack of motivation – Struggling with daily tasks like getting out of bed, showering, or eating.
- Difficulty bonding with your baby – Feeling detached, uninterested, or resentful toward your child.
- Sleep disturbances – Insomnia or excessive sleeping, even when the baby is resting.
- Loss of interest in activities – No longer finding joy in hobbies or things you used to enjoy.
- Changes in appetite – Eating too much or too little, often without realizing it.
- Physical symptoms – Headaches, stomach pain, or muscle tension without a clear medical cause.
- Suicidal thoughts – Thinking about self-harm, feeling like your family would be better off without you, or wishing you could disappear. (If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out for immediate help—support is available and you are not alone.)
Perinatal Anxiety:
What Is Perinatal Anxiety?
Perinatal anxiety refers to excessive and persistent worry, fear, or nervousness that occurs during pregnancy or after childbirth. While some level of worry is normal for new and expecting parents, perinatal anxiety goes beyond typical concerns—it can interfere with daily life, impact relationships, and make it difficult to enjoy parenthood.
Anxiety can occur on its own or alongside perinatal depression. Research suggests that up to 1 in 5 women experience significant anxiety during pregnancy or postpartum, yet it often goes undiagnosed because it may not present with the same symptoms as depression.
How Do I Know If I Have Perinatal Anxiety?
Like perinatal depression, perinatal anxiety can be identified through a screening by your OBGYN, therapist, or psychiatrist. If you suspect you're struggling with anxiety, it's important to reach out for help.
Here are common signs and symptoms:
- Racing thoughts – Feeling like your mind is constantly "on," jumping from one worry to the next.
- Incessant worry – Frequent fears about your baby’s health, your ability to parent, or other aspects of life that feel overwhelming.
- Sleep disturbances – Difficulty falling or staying asleep due to anxious thoughts, even when your baby is sleeping.
- Bodily tension – Muscle tightness, headaches, stomach discomfort, or a general sense of restlessness.
- Shortness of breath – Feeling like you can’t take a full breath, even when you're physically at rest.
- Avoidance behaviors – Avoiding activities or places that trigger anxiety, such as leaving the house, driving, or socializing.
- Physical symptoms – Dizziness, nausea, a racing heart, or frequent stomach issues related to stress.
Some parents with perinatal anxiety also experience intrusive thoughts—scary or distressing thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. While these thoughts can be upsetting, they do not mean you will act on them. They are a sign of anxiety and can be managed with the right support.
What Causes Perinatal Anxiety and or Depression?
There is no single cause, but several factors may contribute:
- Hormonal shifts – Pregnancy and postpartum bring drastic hormonal changes that can affect mood and stress responses.
- Personal or family history – A history of anxiety, depression, or other mood disorders may increase the risk.
- Sleep deprivation – Lack of rest can heighten anxiety symptoms.
- Difficult birth experience – Trauma, complications, or past pregnancy loss can contribute to heightened worry.
- Perfectionism or high expectations – Feeling pressure to be the "perfect" parent can add to stress.
- Lack of support – Feeling isolated or without a strong support system can make anxiety worse.
If you’re experiencing perinatal depression, there are several supportive tools and resources to help you navigate this time. Here are some places to start:
Therapy & Counseling
Working with a therapist trained in evidence-based approaches can be highly effective. Consider looking for someone experienced in:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and shift negative thought patterns.
- Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT): Focuses on improving relationships and social support.
- Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR): Uses mindfulness techniques to manage stress and emotions.
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Teaches emotional regulation and distress tolerance skills.
Self-Care
Prioritizing your well-being can help support your mental health. Try to:
- Eat a well-balanced diet.
- Move your body in ways that feel good to you.
- Get enough rest whenever possible.
- Make time for yourself, even in small ways.
- Practice self-compassion—you're doing the best you can.
Support Groups
Community is essential. Connecting with others who understand your experience can help you feel seen and supported. Consider:
- Joining a local or online mom’s support group.
- Connecting with others through Postpartum Support International.
- Reaching out to other moms in your community.
Medication
In some cases, antidepressants can be an effective treatment for perinatal depression. Talk to your healthcare provider to explore what’s best for you.
What You Can Start with Today
- Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling.
- Let your family and friends know what signs to look out for.
- Ask loved ones to check in, visit, and offer support when needed.
You are not alone in this. Support is available, and taking even small steps today can make a difference. 💛