Fear From a Different Perspective
Humans are the only species that is deeply interconnected with the future– a positive and a negative. Every other species is completely existential– meaning they are living in this moment. Humans are inseparable from our relationship with the past and the future. When we live in the past, we tend to live a life full of regret. But when we live in the future, we have two options: a life that would be described as a life of trust or a life of fear.
We are all connected to this obscure, mysterious place called the future and how we engage with that, whether we have a sense of purpose, optimism, or momentum versus being filled with fear, avoidance, and self-doubt.
“Our fears are more numerous than our dangers and we suffer more in our imagination than reality.” -Jay Shetty
Start by writing out your laundry list of fears, they can be big or small, relevant or totally irrational.
- Why is it scarier to run toward something we want versus running away from what we don’t? In other words, why is it that running from a snake feels so much easier in our bodies than running towards the actions that get us to who or where we want to be in life?
- In what ways has a lack of self belief limited your impact on the world? Limited the world's impact on you?
We all know traditional fears: sharks, spiders, heights, being afraid of the dark, so on and so forth. But what about the hesitation, the self-doubt, the trance of unworthiness that limits more impactful and important things like a dream, an ambition, a desire or a goal that we have for ourselves.
The two main problems with fear is that it doesn’t stay in a category, it permeates through your whole soul, your thoughts, your actions, and ultimately your well-being, and it doesn’t do a good job of classifying threats. Whether it is fear of falling off a mountain, fear of taxes, or fear of pursuing your heart’s desires, your body can’t differentiate. And if we exist in a fear state too often, we start to exist in a pseudo-homeostatic state within a stress response. When we are paralyzed from moving into our best self– that is when we are controlled by fear.
Branch Fears vs. Root Fears
Jay Shetty emphasizes that an essential step in reprogramming our relationship with fear is learning to recognize our reaction pattern to fear. Fear is not something to be ashamed of, it is something we can work with.
Branch fears: Surface-level fears that arise in specific situations. These are the immediate, reactionary fears we experience. They are often a reflex of our root fear. A sign that you are serving branch fears is when outward validation quells that voice inside.
Root fears: The deeper, core limiting beliefs or false narratives we hold about ourselves. These are the underlying sources from which all branch fears stem.
Step 1: Identify a recent fear or hesitation.
Step 2: Explore the surface (branch) fear.
Step 3: Dig into the deeper (root) fear underneath.
Fear Example:
- Branch Fear: I’m afraid to speak up in meetings.
- Root Fear: I’m afraid of being judged as incompetent.
With each branch, keep diving deeper until you reach a point where the branches lead you to the root of the matter. You can do this by asking - “What am I really afraid of?”
Now You Try.
Overthinking vs. Action
Overthinking is often not your brain trying to solve a problem (action) it is your brain training to control an outcome (inaction). We start with a premise, an idea, a fear– what will happen if.. Then spiral. When we anticipate future outcomes, fear holds us back, imprisoning us in our imaginations.
The best way to overcome overthinking/fear is:
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Pausing
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Feeling what’s REALLY happening in your body (you can’t think your way through a problem, you have to feel it too)
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Clearly combine mind and body information of what’s happening in front of you
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Take the most appropriate action
*Approach all of this with compassion.
Reclaiming Power
The antidote to fear is movement toward what scares you. That could look like sitting still in your feelings so that you can better understand what they’re trying to tell you, and that could look like applying to the job you’re eyeing.
This type of action, the action approached with the radical acceptance lens helps shift you towards your authentic happiness much more quickly faster than any overthinking/overanalyzing will do.
This step/action can be SO SMALL. But if you can recognize it it will have a massive impact. For example:
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Choosing to come up with a workout even if it’s not perfect
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Choosing to put pen to paper even if you don’t have all the answers.
Your choice of doing it, even if no one sees it, signals to your brain that you mean business.