What's Covered:
- Why online dating?
- How to create an intriguing profile.
- Tips and tricks of the trade.
An argument for online dating
The online dating world is growing globally. As of 2024, approximately 366 million people worldwide use online dating services. In the U.S. alone, 30% of adults report using online dating apps. If you are looking for data on the feasibility of finding a partner, about 20% of current committed relationships in the U.S. started online, and approximately 17% of marriages in recent years began through online dating platforms.
According to Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and chief scientific adviser to Match:
“It’s more possible to find someone now than at probably any other time in history, particularly if you’re older. You don’t have to stand in a bar and wait for the right one to come along. And we’ve found that people looking for a sweetheart on the internet are more likely to have full-time employment and higher education, and to be seeking a long-term partner.”- Helen Fisher
How to write a intriguing profile
- Start brainstorming your hobbies, interests, what excites you, and your personality traits to create a snapshot of who you are. A helpful place to start is to think about how friends or coworkers would fill in the “most likely to” blank and what excites you, in order to bring together a snapshot.
Example: “I love cooking and watching cooking shows. A Saturday morning at the farmers market is a perfect start to the weekend. Dave Chappelle has my kind of humor, and meeting new people excites me: I have never met a stranger.”
- Include what you are looking for. Be open about any non-negotiables and try your best to give a picture of a "day in the life" of being your partner.
Example: “My ideal match is someone who loves family, is a natural conversationalist, and can hold his own at a cocktail party on a Saturday night, then chill with me on a lazy Sunday.”
-
Post a clear picture of yourself. Only having pictures with friends can lead to confusion.
-
Have a friend read your profile. Ask them, “Did I miss anything?” They are likely to be able to share something they think is special about you, revealing a possible blind spot!
Tips and Tricks
As good as technology is these days, the algorithm can’t read your mind; you need to message and “like” people you find appealing if you want to start seeing similar people in your results feed. Try moving to a date when you feel safe to meet the person in real life (IRL). If the conversation seems to be going well, why not be the one to say: “That’s a story better told over a drink (coffee, apps, fill in the blank)?”
Fatigue — Online dating can feel like a second job. Here are some tips:
- Take breaks when you need to and pace yourself. Just be mindful if you are using breaks as a way to deflect or avoid. Use these breaks to fill your cup and try not to guilt-trip yourself for taking time for yourself.
- Be mindful of how you are viewing these conversations. It helps to keep expectations in check. Remember to bring some levity to it. Is someone being slow to respond or inconsistent? It’s probably not because of you! You have the power to control your narrative.
- Have fun with it! If online dating feels like an obligation, a job, or something on your to-do list, it’s likely time to take a break from it all. Some ways to avoid burnout include viewing online dating as an opportunity to fill your social calendar. Want to try out a new restaurant? That might be a great place to meet someone from your dating profile. Looking at dating as an experience will help you keep it fresh and fun.
- Have you tried online dating? What has been your experience?
- If there is a block around online dating, can you identify it?
- What are your struggles when you are online dating? Trouble with conversations, moving it to in real life (IRL), or not knowing which app to use?